Bill Cosby Has a Strange Prison Attacker

Bill Cosby’s first night in prison was a doozy. (TV Web)
 

Bill Cosby complained to his wife Camille about how he had been treated in prison so far, according to a source from the Montgomery County courthouse. Cosby said that they had taken his cane, tie, and shoelaces because “they think I will harm myself.” This is actually a standard practice in prison since any of those items could be used to harm one’s self or others. Cosby, who is legally blind, also stated that he fell down a few steps after the hot dog bun hit him because he wasn’t being properly guided.

Prison isn’t a great time for anybody, but Bill Cosby is really struggling and reportedly pleaded with Camille to “Grab the checkbook and hire anyone and everyone,” in an effort to get him out. It looks like he’s going to have a pretty hard time in the slammer for the next handful of years. Cosby famously appeared in a number of Jell-O commercials in the 1980s and 1990s, and he was served a half cup of the pudding for the dessert portion of his meal, which also included baked meatballs and rice, green beans, as well as mashed potatoes and gravy. For lunch, he’ll receive a half cup of Jell-O every day.

Bill Cosby’s spokesperson Andrew Wyatt went on a tirade against the media, judge, and prosecutors after the sentence, declaring that it was “the most racist and sexist trial in the history of the United States.” Wyatt has vowed that this situation is far from over and is trying to provide evidence that Cosby was illegally recorded and that said tape had been tampered with. Wyatt then went on to compare the comedian to Jesus and insinuated that the only reason Cosby was going to jail was because he was black.

Honestly, a stale hot dog bun is the least of the disgraced comedian’s worries.